'You are the best thing that's never been mine.'

OK, so if you've heard Taylor Swift's great new single, "Mine," you probably know that the lyric in the above title isn't exactly how it goes. No, this song is all about how this guy she's with is the best thing that's ever happened to her. As great as that is for Ms. Swift, not all of us have that kind of a relationship. Or a relationship at all. Not that I'm resentful - of course I'm not. ;) No, what I'm saying is this - sometimes it can be even more fun and addicting not to have your heart's desire. That's right - I said not. That way, you can spend every waking minute thinking about that thing, about what you'll do when you get it, about how every single detail of that thing is perfect, about how when you just get that one thing, your life will be complete.

All right, let's forget the vague, non-specifics and just say it's a guy. Thinking about that one young man that you'd love to be with could be scads more fun than actually dating them! What if, in reality, they're boorish and unintelligent, with just enough mysteriousness (or simply the lack of anything to say) to make you think they're really just shy, mulling over their deep, private thoughts? On most occasions, quiet depth is not what you're looking at. But we just pretend, because it's such good fun. However, most girls don't see the potential emotional damage they could be inflicting on themselves while they pine away for the semi- fictional Mr. Dreamy.

And I'm not planning on pointing my finger without admitting that I've done this, too. In fact, I've just recently decided to try to kick the habit, because it's been causing such damage. You see, while it does make me feel epicly star-crossed, it really just promotes feelings of desperation, depression, and even self-inflicted heart-break. Us girls, we can have fully fledged 'relationships' without once speaking to the object of our infatuation. This element of unreality is so unhealthy, I've realized it would be much better just to focus on other things - things that actually exist, for example.

Now, I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing I'm not the only one that does this. 'Better to have a completely fabricated - but enjoyable - relationship in my mind than none at all, right?' Wrong. It's a destructive behavior that could lead to an addiction - yep, addiction. It's an addiction to the feelings: affection, infatuation, longing, fascination, call it what you like, it's not healthy to enforce these feelings just to feel them. Yes, you can hope for them someday, and be excited for them when they do come, but don't feel that you need some form of 'love' in order to fit in. Things are special because they're rare, not because you stumble upon them everyday.

But I don't mean to ramble. I just want you to know, you can be perfectly happy and without a boyfriend. It won't kill you. And you can become a better person because of it. And when you find yourself without a date on Friday night? Call me.