Hello. My name is Sophie Conley, and I'm an extremely misunderstood teenage girl. There are just too many reasons and ways that I am misunderstood to list or put them in an orderly fashion. You'll just have to trust me on this. Really.
WARNING: EXTREME COMPLAINING AND SELF-PITYING BEYOND THIS POINT! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK OF BOREDOM/DISINTEREST!
There - don't say I didn't warn you. But it's not as if I don't deserve some pity. I have absolutely no friends in my circle of acquaintances. All the friends that I made were guys who ended up liking me, but since I made the decision not to date in High School, they - after vowing their undying friendship 'forever and always' - they abandon me and never speak to me anymore. Let me tell you, I am the victim here.
This one friend I had, we'll call him . . . "Pete." Well, 'Pete' and I were friends for about 2 years, starting with emails and then - eventually - he worked up the courage to talk to me in person. I really liked him. No, no, not like that. As a friend, nothing more. I wouldn't let myself - I had made my choice and I stuck to my guns. But he was such a nice guy - caring, protective, funny, innocent, doting, truthful, faithful (And no, he isn't a golden retriever). I really, really liked him.
Every once in a while he'd start getting way to 'I love you so much' for comfort, so I'd have to remind him that I just didn't think I was emotionally ready for a relationship and that he should keep his heart in check before he was all the way gone. Countless times I said this. (And I saved all the emails to prove it)
But then, one day, I realized that he wasn't for me. Long term. Not now, not ever. Maybe you think this is a big decision to make at such a young age, but I knew - I really knew. I promise, I'm not going to end up on that TV Land show about getting back together with your first love. No worries.
As soon as I said this, he completely turned on me - now he doesn't even speak to me when I say hello. Let me tell you, I never, ever wronged him. Never said anything misleading or flirty - not one word. But now I have to suffer by losing his friendship, just because he wants to play the victim.
It hurts. And 'Pete' is just one facet of my backwards life right now. You see, My Life Is Backwards because I seem to do, say, feel, and think all the right things...but then - I get suffering. I get pain. I get hardship. It doesn't make sense. Why all of this sadness and frustration if I'm doing everything right? I know you probably can't 'Dear Abby' me back, but it might be nice to have just a sympathetic ear...or, well, eye(s). Maybe I'm not alone in this?
So, here you go, cyberspace. Take my measly offering of temporary sorrow and deliver it to someone who will read with a kind heart. Or maybe I need to snap out of it and get a mean critic. But, fellow blogspot reader, I would surely prefer the former.
And so, I must bid you goodnight, wherever you are. May your life be more prosperous and happy than mine at this moment.
- Mein Leben ist rückwärts!
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